Misery Loves Company

So you’re a complainer, huh?

It’s that darn brain thing again. Naturally and unconsciously, the grey gunk in our skulls convinces us that we should mimic the moods and feelings of the people around us. It tricks us into thinking that we understand what someone else is feeling and causes us to react to what we surround ourselves with.

That’s why when you’re watching your favorite team go head to head with a rival you’re electrified with excitement or when you want to hurl when you see someone scrunch their face at their food because it just didn’t sit well. It’s also the reason why when your honey is having a bad day, you feel all sad and sulky.

They call it neuron mirroring. 

Mirror neurons are a type of brain cell that responds equally when we perform an action and when we witness someone else perform the same action. This super smart guy by the name of Giacomo Rizzolatti (neuroscientist, MD) says that the neurons explain how and why we “read” other people’s minds and feel empathy for them.

So what does that have to do with our tribe of complainers? When we surround ourselves with a person or a group of people who are always moaning and groaning, inherently we fall into the trap of whining about our own situation. It’s kind of like second-hand smoke — you don’t have to do it to suffer the consequences.


Complainers don’t want to be miserable all by themselves.

Nothing could be worse for a negative person than to see happy-go-lucky people skipping around them all “happy”. These types of personalities want to throw a raging pity party, fully equipped with miserable streamers and sad confetti, and don’t want to do it alone. It makes them feel a little better to know that they’re not the only one feeling that shitty about themselves.

Be selective about who you spend your time with, especially if they’re chronic complainers. In order to reprogram our brains to be positive, we can help by surrounding ourselves with positive people.


Are you being the host of a complaining pity party? Well it’s time to crash it! Do you notice yourself being the center or a willing participant in a group of whiners? Drop your thoughts in the comments! 




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Sources: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-travis-bradberry/how-complaining-rewires-y_b_13634470.html

6 Comments Add yours

  1. I surround myself with negative people so I can feel better with my life. Haha

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thankfully, I irritate miserable people. “Why are you always so f****** happy?!”

    Partly born that way, partly happy with my lot (“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” Dale Carnegie) and mostly – I have done everything I can to get negative people out of my life. You are so right – misery is more infectious than the flu – and more pernicious!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isn’t it an amazing feeling?! I’m totally the same way. It grinds people’s gears to see how bubbly I am sometimes. By the way, I just fell in love with that quote. It’s so powerful (: Stay happy, stay positive, and keep the haters far, far away ❤


      1. Quite so – and keep it up. I still believe that happy people add more to people’s lives whatever they may think! I am not sure if you have heard of the late Spike Milligan, a famous British comedian. I love his poem ‘Smiling is Infectious’. I also believe in what Dale Carnegie said, “Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wow, I’m going to have to check it out. It definitely sounds like something that I would enjoy. It’s all about our thinking ❤ let's continue to smile and infect the world around us with joy!

        Liked by 1 person

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