Hey, darlings. Guess what?
We’ve almost successfully finished another trip around the sun!
I know that I’m not very old nor do I look a day over 16, but 2018 just sounds crazy in my ears. Is it just me or when you hear the year 2003 you think to yourself,
“Oh yeah, that was like 4 years ago!”.
No, sugar, we’re inching towards 2020 and that makes me slightly uncomfortable. My vision isn’t even that good for Christ’s sake…
Now that I’ve accepted this, I’m starting to brainstorm ideas to scribble onto my list of New Year’s Resolutions.
Hey now! Resolutions aren’t that bad if you actually stick to
all a few of them. I mean, come on, how great does it feel to scratch something off of your list? Pretty damn great!
But this post isn’t about the amazing person I dream to be in 2018. Nor is it about the god-awful saying “new year, new me”. I’ll save that story for another post.
This post is for the pessimist.
As I’ve narrated throughout the Pages of Paige, 2017 has been…less than friendly. Granted, the bitch has taught me a hell of a lot. However, I can think of a million things that I want to leave in 2017. But to save you some time, I’ll just stick to a handful.
Here are 18 things that I am NOT doing in 2018.
I am not going to…
01. Hate my dad.
Even though he’s acting like a total piece of shit, I’m sick and tired of being angry at him. I’ll be damned if I spend another year rolling my eyes at father-daughter scenes in movies, feeling sad on Father’s Day, or being bitter when I have to submit bi-weekly payments for a car that’s in his name.
This has to stop. So in 2018, I’m freeing myself from this divorce prison.
02. Compare myself to others.
Cut me a little slack, guys. Don’t pretend that you don’t do this too. It’s actually pretty hard! You see someone who’s seemingly living the life that you want, wearing clothes that you wish would look good on you, or driving a car to a fancy home that you wish you could afford. It’s poisonous.
I usually compare myself to women with long, luscious hair (you know, the beach waves like Farrah Fawcett), as if they literally hopped out of bed and could strut down a runway. Or to women who have bodies carved by the gods. I’ve always been insecure about my weight and for looking so much younger than I am. So, promise me that you’ll hold me accountable for this next year.
03. Be so self-critical.
This goes hand-in-hand with #2. I’m so mean to myself. I would literally smack someone for saying some of the things that I say to myself. I need to be nicer to myself and spend more time saying uplifting, positive, and empowering things. Who’s with me?
04. Try so hard to please everyone.
Maybe I should have titled this blog “Paige, The People Pleaser” because I swear that I work so hard to make everyone happy. Not only is it exhausting, but the reward is never very satisfying. Life is far too short to spend it kissing the asses of other people. So I’m going to *reclaim my time* and focus on pleasing only one person, me.
Your Honor, the defendant is GUILTY! Well, I sure as hell am. As much as I hate to admit this out loud, I complain. I know that I shouldn’t but even the best of us do. But it’s a choice. I’d like to choose to be less negative, and that starts by spending my time talking about positive things and finding the silver lining in my situation.
Related: Stop Bitching.
06. Take “NO” for an answer.
As I mentioned, I’m a chronic people pleaser which means that I say yes to basically everything and accept far too many no’s.
BUT, I’m taking this year by the balls. I’m not going to settle for less than I’ve worked my tail off for…yes, even that large fry from McDonald’s.
07. Pretend that I have it all figured out.
I hate to crash the party here, but I don’t have it all figured out. I definitely wish that I did though! (Like, could you imagine?!) But that’s what makes life so much
hell fun. I’m a typical Virgo so we’re meticulous and organized, so we crumble when we realize that we can’t be perfect all of the time.
Consider this my vow to stop putting so much pressure on myself to look like I have it all together and to simply ride the wave.
08. Hold grudges.
I’ve been so angry this year — angry at people, things, and situations. I’ve never been this unsettled by things before so I haven’t handled the steam coming from my ears very well.
But damn, grudges are heavy! Remember the metaphor our parents used to tell us about grudges being like boulders; these huge rocks that we carry with us? It all makes sense now. Being angry about things for long periods of time really does weigh you down. And I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve been a part of this in 2017.
Well, bye bye boulders. Unless you’re going to stick around to give me some muscle or tack on a few pounds, I have no use for you in the new year.
09. Spend time with people who aren’t bringing positivity into my life.
So I’m about up to here with pouring myself into friendships for people who could care less about me or who aren’t actively trying to be better individuals. Friends should be empowering and always trying to grow. I’d say that you’re lucky if you have a few friends in your circle that are (hold them close and tell them that you love them).
They say that birds of a feather flock together, so I want to soar with the eagles. I plan to spend my time with friends who have hearts the size of Texas, wake up each day trying to be better than the day before, and who love me for the hot mess that I am.
10. Care what people say, feel, or think of me.
Ohhhhh boy. This is something that may take me a few tries. Here I go again, beating on the people pleaser drum. I don’t know why I am so concerned with how people perceive me. I wish that everyone that I meet could love me for who I am. But as the saying goes, you could be the fattest, sweetest, and juiciest peach, but there will always be someone who just doesn’t like peaches.
So bear with me. I’m really going to try to stick to this one.
11. Spend money on stupid sh*t.
Money, money, money. The root of all evil. Now that I’m a “real adult” I want to actually hold myself accountable for how and where I spend my money. Do I really need this? Wouldn’t my money be better spent on that? Absolutely.
I want this year to be about financial health and investment. So that means I need to stop talking about making a budget and actually put a pen to paper.
12. Allow things – or people – to stand in the way of my relationship.
I love my boyfriend. And that should be all that matters. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve let other people’s opinions of us get in the way of our partnership. I’ve allowed their doubts and feelings to cloud my perception and have distracted me from what’s important. I’m leaving this one behind me because frankly, it’s ridiculous.
13. Stress about things that I cannot change or control.
I’m such a worry wart and to be honest, it drives me a little nuts. My cousin always asks me, “Why do you waste your time worrying about things that you can’t change? Worrying won’t fix the problem so save yourself the agony.” He has a point. Why do I do this to myself?
14. Be a part of things that steal my joy or happiness.
Whether its work or play, I don’t want to spend my time being participating in things don’t make me crazy happy.
Simple as that.
15. Wear a mask.
I’ve always been known for my bright smile and positive attitude. While that is very true of my character, I’m still human. Just like you, I have my days where I want to cry into a sock or I’m so angry that my jaw clamps up. I don’t usually like to show that side of myself because I don’t want to shatter my “image”.
Screw the image. This blog has been a platform for me to be true to who I am, share my deepest secrets, and explain some of my ugliest experiences. I want to say thank you for taking the time to read The Pages of Paige. You are changing my life ❤
16. Forget about important grown-up stuff.
“Sh*t! The bill is due TODAY?!” Yeah, no more of that. I want to be more organized and prepared because that’s what it means to adult right?
17. Be irresponsible with what I put in my body.
As of this moment, I’ve been able to eat complete garbage, drink until the room spins, and stay up until the sun comes up. I’m only 23 so hopefully, I still have quite a few miles on this thing. But they keep telling me that it’s going to catch up to me at some point. I guess I should start taking responsibility for my health because I’m sure my future self will thank me later.
18. Live my life one change or crisis at a time.
As a kid, we experienced a ton of change (as many of us do). I don’t mean change in our bodies or with our friends, I mean, major life changes. Because of my childhood, I’ve grown into a woman that anxiously anticipates change and is always ready to put out a few flames. Sadly, that’s no way to live.
In the new year, I want to stop to smell the roses and enjoy life, one day at a time rather than waiting for the next crisis.
Your turn! What are some things that you want to stop doing in 2018?